Go to Sleep Little Baby – The Story on How We Managed to Sleep Through

Falling – and staying – asleep through the night may seem straightforward a task for us adults, but it isn’t always the case for babies and toddlers. From day one the sleeping patterns of the little people are amongst the most popular subjects for mums’ weekly catch ups.  And no wonder, as babies grow their sleeping habits change considerably.



Sleeping Baby by http://www.jbtphotoart.com/



Thousands of miles away from my parents, studying towards a demanding MA and (very slowly) getting used to the whole ‘I’m-the-New-Born-Mummy’ situation, I found it hard to believe that our daughter would spare us the agony of sleepless nights when she reached four weeks of age. And what a surprise, she DID! It lasted long enough for me to slip into the routine and get the most important assignments out of the way, but by no means was it permanent.

At the age of ten months, my little one started to wake up three to six times a night. She slept in our bedroom, in her cot and I still breastfed her. And indeed the only thing that could possibly comfort her as her wake up calls increased, were comfort feeds. My immediate solution was to pick her up and cuddle her every time she cried. She would then fall asleep and I would gently put her back to bed and if that didn’t work, I would breastfeed her and try the whole thing again. In the end, all three of us ended up sharing the bed, though disappointingly, this did not work as a long term solution. It goes without saying that several consecutive weeks of this new arrangement have taken their toll leaving us with baggy eyes and yawning-our-hearts-out-syndrome. We had to do something about it and fast!

Dad and Baby

I first read about controlled crying on the internet. It sounded heartbreaking, but promising and although we were concerned about leaving our little girl to cry it out, we understood that we would be helping our child to learn to fall asleep on her own – a very useful skill. Supernanny recommends putting your baby to bed while she is still awake. When she cries, endure it - however heart wrenching it is – for two minutes and then go to her room and comfort her without picking her up.

If she continues crying, wait another four minutes before comforting her again. Double the time you allow her to cry from two to four to eight minutes and so on until she falls asleep. Sounds simple, doesn’t it...

And oh dear...Simple it may be in theory but! Three nights of controlled crying and we wished we’d never started it. Our little girl’s crying (even in short intervals) was heartbreaking. Every time we went to comfort her she seemed scared, shocked and looked at us in such despair questioning why it seemed. Yes - I know, being picked up was what she was used to and breaking habits is always tough, BUT subjecting her to this just didn’t seem right. Hence we were back to square one – sharing the bed, but only temporarily. For the next seven days we chose co-sleeping in order to help her recuperate from a newly developed ‘bed-time-anxiety’ and to reassure her and eliminate the bad memories that she now associated with sleep time.  



Mum and Baby by http://www.jbtphotoart.com/



Seven days had passed and our little girl calmed down and although she still kept waking up at night for comfort feeds, she returned to her confident and trusting self again. Now was the time to take the next step: transfer her to her own bedroom. It was my hubby’s suggestion and I have to say that I didn’t want our daughter to sleep separately until she was one. I preferred to oversee her at all times.



Nevertheless, with her little room furnished, a pretty mural designed by daddy on the wall by her bed and all the teddies and dolls waiting in anticipation to meet her; it was time to befriend the baby monitor...

And here comes the biggest revelation of all. Not only did she sleep through the night, but she fell asleep in ten minutes – unheard of! From that moment onwards, she simply slept undisturbed for eleven hours every night (and napped for two hours during the day). We expected lots of heartache and tears, separation anxiety and reluctance. What we acquired surpassed our wildest dreams – silent nights, plenty of sleep, fresh heads and rested souls! The only question remained: how did we achieve it?

We always had a very good bed-time routine – half an hour before sleep time, the whole house was calming down with the TV sounds almost inaudible and mummy and daddy whispering to each other and to the baby. The bath lasted for about ten to fifteen minutes. Pyjamas, milk and story followed. This routine has not changed throughout our daughter’s sleeping disruptions and it has remained the same today.

Soft Toys in a Basket

My theory is that the reassurance of love and security is more important than teaching your baby to fall asleep on her own. And no matter how much inconvenience, exhaustion and frustration is inflicted on parents, this reassurance is far more important than our rest. For I believe that only this reassurance converted my child into a good sleeper again.

All babies go through periods of restlessness and the changes that their little bodies and minds undergo as they grow into toddlers, preschoolers and teenagers to finally reach adolescence, are so great that we simply cannot demand from our little gems to always sleep through the night just because the children of our friends do.

After all, even adults who don’t have apparent sleeping problems may sometimes experience sleeplessness due to all sorts of reasons such as stress, bad dieting, an eventful day or a challenging week at work. So rather than train babies to be good sleepers, let’s show them how good sleeping is. With a good bed time routine, loving environment, positive bed time associations and a little patience, your baby will sleep like all proverbial babies are supposed to. As for controlled crying, read on in my next post!

BREAST IS BEST

Despite the overwhelming popularity of bottle feeding, the majority of us realise that breastfeeding has significant benefits for both mother and child. Magazine articles, advertisements and hospitals have been promoting breastfeeding as a baby friendly initiative in recent years. The World Health Organisation recommends exclusive breastfeeding for the first six months of a baby’s life. Increasing popularity of healthy living and efforts to reduce the carbon footprint, favour the idea of long term breastfeeding. Yet figures still show that the majority of UK mums choose formula over breast.

Although the proportion of babies breastfed at birth in the UK rose by 7% (according to the Office for National Statistics, Infant Feeding Survey results published in 2007), overall only 35% of UK babies are being exclusively breastfed at one week, 21% at six weeks, 7% at four months and 3% at five months. UK has one of the lowest scores on the breastfeeding chart in Europe. Why are the rates so low?

We live in a fast paced environment, where - in order to achieve comfortable level of living both parents have to work (long gone are the honey-I’m-home-days). Often working mums find pumping breast milk too difficult, elaborate or uncomfortable. Also, sore and/or bleeding nipples, engorged breasts or a teething baby’s biting habits can deter even the most determined of breastfeeding heroes. In addition, bottle feeding unlike breast feeding doesn’t render mum the sole food provider – dad, grandma or nanny will do just as well. Furthermore, some mums find breastfeeding in public embarrassing.

I can relate to all of the above reasons and I fully understand that it is every mum’s personal decision whether to breastfeed or not. Yet, as a strong advocate of breastfeeding (my daughter is a bubbly one year old and we are still going strong), I feel that the issue of food choice for babies shouldn’t be taken lightly. After all it is the parent's responsibility to provide their child with the best possible start in life.  

Sadly, formula feeding has become a widely practiced culture. Some mums go for formula without trying breastfeeding, because formula is more convenient or the idea of saggy breasts is too much to bear (by the way – it is a misconception, breastfeeding does not make breasts saggy, what contributes to sagginess is pregnancy and age, be assured!). And even midwives are surprisingly quick to suggest a bottle to a new mum who is struggling with the latching on process. Yes, I’ve been there!

Breastfeeding is crucial to every baby’s development and its benefits for both mother and baby simply outgrow the drawbacks (not that I can think of any drawbacks to be honest...). It is worth to persevere at breastfeeding your baby because...

Breastfeeding is...

Good for Baby

Breastfeeding is indisputably the most natural way of nurturing a baby. The motherly love and affection communicated during nursing contributes greatly to bonding and has no equals when it comes to comforting little ones. Baby’s idea of a hug is snuggling to mum’s breast. Breastfeeding provides all the nutrients that baby needs. Breast milk contains antibodies which are passed into baby and help lower the occurrence of medical conditions such as ear infections, diarrhoea, meningitis and respiratory and gastro-intestinal infections; it may also prevent allergies, asthma, diabetes, obesity and SIDS.

Due to its components, breast milk is more easily digested than formula; limiting incidents of diarrhoea and constipation to minimum. As it contains a unique combination of vitamins and minerals and is tailor made to baby’s needs and appetite, its properties adjust as your baby grows. So although formula pretends to be breast milk, until the complexity of the latter is fully understood, bottle feeding will have to remain the imperfect method of nurturing, to say the least.

Good for Mum

Breastfeeding Mums are at lower risk of breast cancer, ovarian cancer and hip fractures. Furthermore, a long-term study of the National Institutes of Health - Women’s Health Initiative –revealed that women who breastfed for at least 7 to 12 months after giving birth had a lower risk of cardiovascular disease.

Alongside many health benefits, breastfeeding is just as good for mum’s emotional health as it is for the baby’s. It is great for bonding; it boosts mum’s confidence and feelings of aptitude. Breastfeeding can be truly empowering!

And finally, as you naturally burn calories to produce milk, breastfeeding may help you lose weight (providing your diet is well balanced) without drastic exercising regimes or skipping meals.

Good for the Wallet

Whilst formula can be pricey (considering the cost of milk, teats, bottles, sterilisers etc), breast feeding costs nothing! Granted, you may need to invest in breast pads and nursing bras for comfort and convenience, but these are complementary.

Good for environment and the Taxpayer

Whilst production and distribution of formula as well as the industrial waste it creates (think what happens to all those bottles, sterilisers, teats, formula packaging, etc...) create enormous carbon footprint, there is nothing greener than breastfeeding! Not to mention that breastfeeding protects babies and their mothers against a wide range of illnesses. It saves the NHS millions of pounds every year.

According to Department of Health, It was estimated in 1995 that the NHS spends £35 million per year in England and Wales in treating gastro-enteritis in formula-fed infants and that, if only 13% more mums breastfed beyond 13 weeks, a whopping £500,000 would be saved in the treatment of the illness.

Without a doubt breastfeeding is the best start in life that we can offer to our little gems. It may not always be plain sailing as we expect it to be at the beginning, but it is sure worth pursuing! And if you are experiencing any difficulties while breastfeeding, or if you simply would like to talk to somebody about the options out there, I compiled a list of websites and institutions that provide information and support to breastfeeding mums. Here it is, hope it helps:

       www.breastfeeding.nhs.uk - the NHS’s site including information on National Breastfeeding Awareness Week

       www.breastfeedingmanifesto.org.uk - information about the Manifesto, the Coalition and how to support their aims

       www.breastfeed.scot.nhs.uk - includes research, statistics and sources of support and resources. Developed by the Scottish Breastfeeding Group

       www.breastfeeding.co.uk- an information website dedicated to the promotion of breastfeeding, run by Jane, a mother and Breastfeeding Tutor

       www.waba.org.my – World Alliance for Breastfeeding Action is a global network of individuals and organisations concerned with the protection, support and promotion of breastfeeding worldwide

       www.thebabycafe.co.uk – The baby Cafe Charitable Trust is a growing nationwide network of drop-in centres for pregnant and breastfeeding mothers.

       www.babymilkaction.or - for information about the International Code of Marketing of Breastmilk Substitutes and legislation to control the promotion of bottle feeding.

       www.lcgb.org – Location Consultants of Great Britain is an International Board Certified Lactation Consultants are qualified to promote and support breastfeeding in a variety of NHS and community settings, and also in private practice.

       www.breastfedbabies.org – Breastfed babies is a site set up by the Health Promotion Agency in Northern Ireland containing information and support for new and expectant mothers

       www.abm.me.uk – The Association of Breastfeeding Mothers

       www.breastfeedingnetwork.org.u – The Breastfeeding Network

       www.laleche.org.uk – La Leche League

       www.multiplebirths.org.uk – The Multiple Births Foundation

       www.nct.org.uk – The National Childbirth Trust

      

National Breastfeeding Helpline: 0300 100 0210

When the Baby Is Born...

The day my daughter was born was the most special day of all – painful, enlightening, inspirational and of course... rewarding! Nearly twenty hours of labour – the majority of which I spent wishing my life away, getting high on laughing gas, and exploiting my husband’s fantastic massaging skills - brought us new life and a new way of life altogether.



http://www.jbtphotoart.com/

 And here we are, eleven months later, with our little girl on the brink of toddlerhood and of course getting ready for her long anticipated first birthday party! Naturally, I embraced the air of contemplation and decided to start writing for (and about) the most delightful of both: people and subjects - mothers and babies. (Dads, please feel free to read and join in, the title is not meant to discriminate or discourage, only to express that the author is a mother herself and as such she feels she can relate fully to her sisters in armsJ!)

As this is the opening post of my blog, here is where my notion of a New Born Mum comes from...  

The labour was the exact opposite of what I expected, to say the least. I hoped for a natural birth in the pool and ended up with two semi-successful epidurals, spinal and a C-section. I was rushed to the theatre, stoned on gas an air, exhausted, tearful and very scared. But most of all for all these long hours I just wanted to finally hold my little angel and forever stare at her gorgeous tiny face. I was fortunate to have my husband at my side who – usually of a lively and rather fiery disposition - remained composed, focused and supportive despite the army of fearful thoughts ploughing through his head. To my own astonishment, I - myself an excitable creature - remained fairly civil throughout!


http://www.jbtphotoart.com/

And something amazing happened when I saw my baby in the air held by a doctor. What my eyes witnessed was nothing short of a perfect little miracle: a chubby and shapely compact little body, full head of black hair and a tiny tongue sticking out to taste the air – I simply thought to myself: “See, how it was all worth it!”.

The time and space stopped for those few seconds and I couldn’t believe that my baby is here and that she is her own self now, a separate entity, living, breathing and simply being. The first cuddle followed and the experience was surreal. The emotions were high and the intensity of the moment brought tears to my eyes. What a thing it is to become a parent! When our daughter was born so were we. For in that moment all had changed - from being a two people entity, we had now evolved into three.


http://www.jbtphotoart.com/

 Becoming a mother is something else – like nothing else one could ever imagine! The way it altered my priorities, smoothed my impatience, tuned my goals and sharpened my senses, was life changing and thoroughly inspirational. And as for pregnancy and birth – yes, we may suffer from the morning sickness and restricted movements and we may be unfortunate enough to have swollen ankles and go through the agony of labour...but most of all – we are blessed and privileged - not to bear the burden of - but to take pride in our very extraordinary role – the bearer of new life...

When the baby is born, so is the mother...

To all New Born Mums and Dads in the Universe! Enjoy!